Warning: DO NOT EAT!

Important Notice: The article which follows was written by Douglas Castle, of TNNWC fame, and was originally published in the SENDING SIGNALS! Blog. The photo below has not been retouched. The silica gel referenced in the photo remains uneaten. No animals were harmed in the making of this post. No artificial sweeteners or preservatives have been added. All employees involved are union members with the exception of those who are not. Parts of this article amy contain allergens. Read at your own risk. Nobody assumes any responsibility. Void where prohibited by law. Contains small parts which could be dangerous to pets and small children. All applicable laws, restrictions, regulations and other things apply. Content might not be suitable for the young, the elderly, those with seizure disorders, heart disorders, emotional disorders, social issues or incontinence. Protected under various obscure statutes and codes. Prices subject to change without prior notice. While supplies last. No refunds. No smoking aloud. Et cetera. Ad Finitum. Semper Fi. E Pluribus Unum. #### 

Warning: DO NOT EAT!

Dear Civilians:

I found a little packet in a bottle of vitamins this morning. I have embedded a picture of it above.

With the literacy rates in so many parts of our country declining, and with so many people becoming simplistic, robotic, unimaginative (and humorless!) sleepwalkers, you have to wonder: How many people have openeed products with that "Do Not Eat!" warning enclosed and have actually starved to death? Has anybody obtained any statistics concerning this threat?

Shouldn't there be a regulatory agency created to keep people from starving, as they sit there, alone in their homes, waiting for a signal that says "It is okay to eat other things, such as healthy food -- just don't this little package. Don't go on a hunger strike."? How do we protect these people from themselves? They require better, clearer instructions.

When I looked at that little pack of silica gel, I couldn't help but worry. I almost felt compelled to throw the vitiamins out. Just an unqualified "Do Not Eat!" Images of Ghandi reeled through my mind. This type of labeling is unconscionable!

What if someone said to you, "Just wait here until I come back." And what if that person then went off and got hit by a bus, never to return? Kids waiting in malls. Husbands waiting for their wives. Think of the tragedies! You (a well-intended, highly-disciplined and obedient person) might full righteously obligated to stand there for the remainder of your unhappy life. But hardly anybody ever says to someone, "Wait here until I get back; but if I'm not back in 30 minutes, just go home without me." Nope. We assume.

I am worried about giving unqualified, incomplete or assumptive instructions to unintelligent or unimaginative people.

Please communicate with precision, lest you bear the burden of someone's unnecessary tragic death on your hands.

Now I'm beginning to really worry about people who buy a product that has a warning on the label saying "DO NOT INHALE!" Think of the suffocation potential. What if that same robotically-inclined person (assuming he hadn't died of starvation or waiting for someone who never returned) suffocated because no one told him that it was okay to breathe the air, providing he didn't inhale the vapors coming from the substance in the container.

How many rubber cement or wood sealant suffocations go unreported each year? Think about THAT.

Putting the sarcasm aside, communicate with precision - don't assume anything. In personal relationships and in business situations, don't take someone else's understanding of what you are trying to explain for granted. You would not believe how many stupid things have happened because of inadequate instructions.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

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