Ironically, some of the seeming attributes that would make someone seem to be an ideal partner (at least in that moment, when you are desperately trying to address a certain immediate need)are things that you would be wary of, or even detest, in different circumstances.
We are, each of us, talent scouts, field observers, behavioral psychologists and dangerously self-deceiving if we take a view of utility without evaluating character.
Always remember, also, that the company you keep will shape the kind of business enterprise which you ultimately build. Character and collaboration are the foundations upon which you must indeed build.
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"You know -- to this very day I can't figure out which side those mysterious Pakistanis were on." "USA: Choose Your Allies Carefully." |
There is a vaery valuable lesson to be learned from The U.S.- Pakistani "Alliance" that has nothing to do with politics. It goes to the heart of Human Nature and Behavioral Psychology.
Before you finalize your decision on an employee, a partner, a co-venturer, a sponsor, invest some serious time in seeing how that party treats others. Although you might be receiving the "royal" treatment during the courtship period, listen and watch how you potential associate treats and speaks about his or her rivals, enemies as well as his or her friends.
A person who is plotting and seditious (dictionary.com, anyone?), vengeful, or duplicitous, will ultimately revert to that "default setting" in his or her dealings with you. It is just a matter of time. A party who is untrustworthy will generally remain so -- and when that party wants to enlist your aid (i.e., use you), he or she may be very charming -- dare I say it? -- even seductive. But when your utility is reduced, or when it becomes that other party's chance to profit by your undoing, you'll have to watch your back. It is always best to learn by observation -- and to realize that ingrained behaviors are indicative of aspects of character that will some day be your undoing.
A partner who is loyal to no one other than himself or herself (they ususally have burned many bridges in the past, very few enduring relationships, and have a bit of sociopathy that surfaces like the Loch Ness Monster at the most critical times) will never be a true partner.
Maybe it has been said that "the enemy of my enemy is my friend," but I believe that is a bit too much of a simplistic analysis. Sometimes the enemy of my enemy wants to capture my kingdom next, especially if I am unwary and embrace this person or these people as if they had already been proven allies. Observe before you commit. Trust your intuition and instincts --
Faithfully,
Douglas Castle (http://aboutDouglasCastle.blogspot.com)
Chairman and CEO
TNNWC Group, LLC
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Douglas Castle -
THE DAILY BURST OF BRILLIANCE .001™
http://aboutdouglascastle.blogspot.com/
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