The Blue Tuesday Report - 02.23.2010 (Bonus Story Included!)

The BLUE TUESDAY Report - 02.23.2010 - Brought to you by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER COMPANIES

It's simple. Click on a Blue Thing (President Obama would want you to), explore its exciting, informative and thought-provoking contents, click the "BACK" button in the upper left-hand corner of your computer screen, and then click on the next Blue Thing. Follow this protocol exactly for best results.

-- Adam J. Kovitz and Douglas Castle

Disclaimer:

An off-color political joke, which should (Hopefully) offend both Democrats and Republicans alike follows. Children under 58 years of age should not read this. Don't drive an automobile, operate heavy machinery or make any complicated legal or business decisions while reading this. Never do anything, ever, without having obtained the advice and approval of your healthcare professional and attorney. Remember to recycle. Go Green. Curb your emissions. Always obey the law, even if it requiires that you disobey the laws of physics. Never assume responsibility. Don't put anything in writing unless it is a picture. Never put anything smaller than your elbow into your ear. Do not give money to anyone with the last name Madoff. If anyone should stop to ask you a question, pretend that you do not speak their language; should this fail, yell out, "It wasn't me!" Lastly, don't wear a trenchcoat and carry a violin case in the late spring or early summer.

[End of Note].

Story:

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."


The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.


"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."


"I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?"


"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."


The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."


"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"


"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."


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