MY LESSON FROM TNNW - HUMANITY IS THE KEY

Dear Readers:

Yesterday, in three separate discussions with three different colleagues, the same topic came up. I would hazard a guess that this particular topic is going to come up more frequently in conversations on a regular basis.

The crux of these discussions can be distilled into a single question and a few observations:

"What are we actually doing, and where are we actually heading with all of this "Networking" stuff?"

"It seems as if the noise level is increasing, yet I'm hearing less and less; It seems as if I am being bombarded with messages and requests, but I can't seem to focus on any single one of them; I thought that this e-media and social media networking technology was going to make my life easier -- now I literally spend hours and hours every single day just doing 'techno-chores'...reading emails, deleting spam, responding to emails, posting on a whole bunch of groups, jumping from Facebook to Linked In to Twitter, text-messaging, iPhoning, shooting out rapid-fire messages that are becoming more and more like apologies - 'I've been too busy to talk with you or meet with you. I'm booked.'

I have a rapidly growing number of contacts to keep up with, yet I know less and less about each of them personally. I don't "know them" at all; I send them emails and get autoresponder "out of office" messages back; the tiny percentage of those that I've actually spoken with on the phone with is shrinking; the even tinier percentage of those I've met is shrinking even more quickly.

The most pathetic thing is that I still do most of my business with a small number of personal, time-tested associates. They feel like friends to me. Despite all of this technology, people are getting ruder, more impersonal. What a paradox! It seems as if I'm suffocating and falling behind. It seems as if nobody has any compassion or humor left. It seems that people have lost the joy in the art of conversation.

I am on a treadmill, surrounded by strangers. I am working harder and accomplishing less. With all of this networking, it seems that I don't have time to actually close any business. I feel increasingly friendless...increasingly lost.

Please help me. I'm drowning in buzzwords, keywords, adwords and a sensorial bombardment that is destroying the quality of my life. I can't even hear my own thoughts. I can't get a grip on my own feelings. It's as if I were living in a constant state of crisis. I don't know any of my neighbors. I'm forgetting about common courtesies, like asking about people's kids, or their health.

Could we go out to the diner? Maybe we can talk about our families, or music or art, or even philosophy? Please?

*****

My friend, Adam J. Kovitz, hinted at this some time ago when he started discussing his notion of Relationship Capital. He believes, as I do, that people are beginning to crave real interpersonal bonding; real spiritual communion; real trust and meaningful friendship; deeper communication and cooperation; more of a celebration of individuality, of quirkiness, of the differences that make us special and interesting to know. WE NEED TO BRING SOME HUMANITY BACK INTO NETWORKING, OR NO BUSINESS IS GOING TO HAPPEN!

I have a few goals to share with you -- and I dedicate this to all of my family members and precious friends (whom I've been 'just too busy' to call), and to every Subscriber, Member, Sponsor, Author and Advertiser in THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW), to all of my blog readers, followers, mentors, teachers, comrades-in-arms, comrades-in-chains and ukelele players:

1. I am going to become a person again.

2. I am going to take breaks from work now and again in order to enjoy this world and this life.

3. I am re-dedicating myself to doing everything in my power, and within my ability, to make sure that THE NATIONAL NETWORKER stays HUMAN, and PERSONAL...that we make every single effort to be a community of friends, business associates and individuals -- each special. We have to listen and to help instead of simply talking and promoting.

I have discovered a secret: In these times, business success is dependent not only upon competence and mutual needs -- it is, more than ever, dependent upon our being good friends, and having good friends.

Faithfully, and extending my hand in friendship, I am

Douglas Castle

P.S. Listen to this! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptlW99wWBWY&feature=related

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TWO VERY DIFFERENT VIEWS OF NETWORKING - Bruce Newman

Two very different views...

1. At A Networking Event – What’s Wrong With This Scenario?

[You can win a PC Mirror (list: $11.95) by sending me an email identifying and listing all of the problems relating to the following networking event. People enjoy winning - don't you? My email address is bnewman@prodinst.com. I look forward to hearing from you!]

A co-worker and I recently went to a well-populated CBS-sponsored networking event. It was well run and most attendees throughout its three hour duration energetically networked with each other. There were also some noteworthy actions by some of the attendees. One account executive from Verizon walked around, didn’t care about making conversation – and made no bones about it, just giving out his business card and asking every person for their card. One plastic surgeon and her office manager talked to people and gave out their business cards. One regional sales consultant – who sells a $1+ M human resources solution – discussed a friend’s problem.

Although my co-worker and I had distributed many of our business cards, no one called us in the days following this event. Conversely, we emailed and followed up with almost all of the cards we received; only a few people bothered to call us back. I must admit that out of curiosity, I sent two emails and left several voice messages for the Verizon executive to see if he would follow-up with me. Since I needed to upgrade my Verizon account, it was a real call, though one spurred by my curiosity. Not surprisingly, he never called back.

From our perspective, the event wasn’t bad. We picked up several new subscribers for The Productivity Institute Newsletter and made two new contacts, one of which we are currently negotiating a business arrangement.

For everyone else? Probably a lot of complaints about the event – which is what I heard from the few attendees I successfully followed up with.

[Please email your “what’s wrong” answers to me. If I receive enough of them, I will publish a summary in my next article.]



2. Consulting And Networking - A Survey Yields Some Surprises

My company recently performed a survey on the hiring criteria for consultants. Possibly, the most noteworthy result was that the two most important consulting characteristics that employers look for are communication skills (53%) and the ability to work with others (45%). The third was technical expertise, and fourth was professionalism.

Think about these results and the new thought process which they reflect. Replacing the former top-ranking priority of technical expertise – the major (and almost exclusive) criterion from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s - managers are now assigning the highest values to communications skills and human interaction in choosing personnel and consultants. Being a "team player" is no longer just a cliché – it is a necessity, particularly in our increasingly interconnected, yet de-personalized world. Technical expertise was only a distant third in the results of this survey!

These same priorities aptly apply to networking. Excellent networkers must be able to communicate with associates, prospects, clients and other networkers – both online and in person. People we meet are judging us on our communications skill sets. They may not be able to evaluate us on our knowledge or technical skills – I certainly don’t have the expertise to evaluate the technical competence of an HR specialist for example - but will instead heavily rely upon their immediate perceptions. These are based largely on how well we communicate and interact with others.

The principal point is that the networking skills that we develop and constantly refine are more significant and broadly applicable than we usually realize.

This ability to effectively communicate and to successfully interact with others (e.g., being a genuine "team player") can serve us well in all aspects of business. Most notably, these skills are what most people are closely observing in us - especially when making hiring or networking decisions.

For more survey results, please check out my blog: http://www.prodinst.com/blog or subscribe to THE PRODUCTIVITY INSTITUTE Newsletter, which is filled with excellent content, and available at no cost -- it is free to subscribe, and you can easily opt-in or opt-out at any time.

- Bruce

Note: Bruce Newman, an expert on consulting, is the Mid-Atlantic Editor for The National Networker and the Vice President at The Productivity Institute, LLC , which matches the consulting needs of companies with the very best-qualified consultants. The Productivity Institute locates, evaluates, rates and matches the expertise and personal styles of consultants to the specific needs of its corporate clients.

Read more about Bruce, The Productivity Institute, and about some of the unparalleled products and services offered by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER's Affiliates to Subscribers and Members by clicking *Here*.

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