Your Friends? -- Who And Where Are They?

Observation:
The above photo captures the joyous spirit of friendship. It also captures the befits of friendship as a conduit to basic commerce. If you look closely, you'll soon be able to determine that the little boy on the right gave the little boy on the left his very shirt off of his back; in exchange, the little boy on the left gave the little boy on the right his sneakers.


Your Friends? -- Who And Where Are They?

Dear Readers:

In a conversation with Rhonda Sher, we somehow got onto the topic of friends, and of friendship.

In these days of social networking platforms, rapid-messaging and  contact "list-building," we use the term "friend" either too loosely, or too optimistically. It seems that we can have as many "friends" as we want, as long as we 1) never ask anything (i.e., help) of them, and 2) we have something to offer them (i.e., money, valuable connections, technical or specialized knowledge). Pity.

As a little boy, I thought that what we asked for, and what we had to offer in return from and for our friends was simply friendship. It was a sympathetic ear, comfort, advice, time together, helping eachother, protecting and defending eachother -- all in the name of  friendship.

How many of your contacts are friends? Take an inventory.

When the wheels fall off of your life, when the storm clouds rise over your head, when you are misjudged, slandered, trivialized, unpopular, threatened.....just how many of them would stand by you? How many would see you through? Ask the same of yourself, as a friend -- given the same set of circumstances with one of your contacts, would you be a confidant, a protector, a defender.....a friend???

I am afraid that the notion of pure friendship, and all of the interpersonal goodness that it offers, is almost extinct. Despite the emails, networking communities, tweeting, buzzing, and local business roundtable meetings, we are growing increasingly insular; isolated; guarded.

What I offered to Rhonda (and she has offered me much in return) was my definition of friendship derived from very painful personal experience. The definition requires a test in adverse circumstances...

"Your friends are those people who come running in when everyone else is running out."

Don't let the notion and practice of friendship die. Ultimately, all things being considered, friendship is the greatest gift one person can give to another, and the greatest honor that one person can bestow upon another.

May you be blessed with friendship. May you be a true friend, and may you be enjoy the security, freedom and unbridled happiness of true friendship. That is my wish for everyone.

True friendship brings out the divine element which exists within each of us. It is interpersonal harmony.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

Tags, Labels and Terms for this Post: TNNWC, friendship, contacts vs friends,  the divine within us, the closest interpersonal experience, tests of friendship, TNNWC Services, Douglas Castle, The Internationalist Page, GICBC, protecting friends, being a confidant, investing your time in another person, Rhonda L. Sher, saving eachother, saving ourselves, Damon and Pythias, bridging the distance between us, the truth about friendship, collecting contacts versus making friends, the immeasurable value of friendship.

Douglas Castle

Toll-Free Telephone: 888.317.6498

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MY LESSON FROM TNNW - HUMANITY IS THE KEY

Dear Readers:

Yesterday, in three separate discussions with three different colleagues, the same topic came up. I would hazard a guess that this particular topic is going to come up more frequently in conversations on a regular basis.

The crux of these discussions can be distilled into a single question and a few observations:

"What are we actually doing, and where are we actually heading with all of this "Networking" stuff?"

"It seems as if the noise level is increasing, yet I'm hearing less and less; It seems as if I am being bombarded with messages and requests, but I can't seem to focus on any single one of them; I thought that this e-media and social media networking technology was going to make my life easier -- now I literally spend hours and hours every single day just doing 'techno-chores'...reading emails, deleting spam, responding to emails, posting on a whole bunch of groups, jumping from Facebook to Linked In to Twitter, text-messaging, iPhoning, shooting out rapid-fire messages that are becoming more and more like apologies - 'I've been too busy to talk with you or meet with you. I'm booked.'

I have a rapidly growing number of contacts to keep up with, yet I know less and less about each of them personally. I don't "know them" at all; I send them emails and get autoresponder "out of office" messages back; the tiny percentage of those that I've actually spoken with on the phone with is shrinking; the even tinier percentage of those I've met is shrinking even more quickly.

The most pathetic thing is that I still do most of my business with a small number of personal, time-tested associates. They feel like friends to me. Despite all of this technology, people are getting ruder, more impersonal. What a paradox! It seems as if I'm suffocating and falling behind. It seems as if nobody has any compassion or humor left. It seems that people have lost the joy in the art of conversation.

I am on a treadmill, surrounded by strangers. I am working harder and accomplishing less. With all of this networking, it seems that I don't have time to actually close any business. I feel increasingly friendless...increasingly lost.

Please help me. I'm drowning in buzzwords, keywords, adwords and a sensorial bombardment that is destroying the quality of my life. I can't even hear my own thoughts. I can't get a grip on my own feelings. It's as if I were living in a constant state of crisis. I don't know any of my neighbors. I'm forgetting about common courtesies, like asking about people's kids, or their health.

Could we go out to the diner? Maybe we can talk about our families, or music or art, or even philosophy? Please?

*****

My friend, Adam J. Kovitz, hinted at this some time ago when he started discussing his notion of Relationship Capital. He believes, as I do, that people are beginning to crave real interpersonal bonding; real spiritual communion; real trust and meaningful friendship; deeper communication and cooperation; more of a celebration of individuality, of quirkiness, of the differences that make us special and interesting to know. WE NEED TO BRING SOME HUMANITY BACK INTO NETWORKING, OR NO BUSINESS IS GOING TO HAPPEN!

I have a few goals to share with you -- and I dedicate this to all of my family members and precious friends (whom I've been 'just too busy' to call), and to every Subscriber, Member, Sponsor, Author and Advertiser in THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW), to all of my blog readers, followers, mentors, teachers, comrades-in-arms, comrades-in-chains and ukelele players:

1. I am going to become a person again.

2. I am going to take breaks from work now and again in order to enjoy this world and this life.

3. I am re-dedicating myself to doing everything in my power, and within my ability, to make sure that THE NATIONAL NETWORKER stays HUMAN, and PERSONAL...that we make every single effort to be a community of friends, business associates and individuals -- each special. We have to listen and to help instead of simply talking and promoting.

I have discovered a secret: In these times, business success is dependent not only upon competence and mutual needs -- it is, more than ever, dependent upon our being good friends, and having good friends.

Faithfully, and extending my hand in friendship, I am

Douglas Castle

P.S. Listen to this! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptlW99wWBWY&feature=related

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